smorgasbord

CK’s birthday was on Saturday, and we had a bit of a shindig. A hootenanny. A box social. It was special because it was really the first party in the house, where we have lived for nearly 2 years. We’re not anti-social, just tragically inhospitable. Our guests are not foodies, and the point of the evening was binge drinking not binge eating, so I was only planning on a few quick munch-upons to go with the copious amounts of alcohol. I suggested an assortment of homemade pizzas, but CK wanted a Norwegian style smorgasbord of open-faced sammiches. Gotta love him.

So I looked into it and decided not to delve too deep into Norwegian fare with pickled herring and lutefisk, because yuckity yuck. I also didn’t want to make the trip to the town of Uff Da bumper stickers and piss-poor vehicular maneuvering to buy rullepolse (though that does make one helluva delicious sammich). The week had been way too busy to plan ahead for anything special, so I kept it simple.

I made three different kinds. There was deviled ham and cucumber on buttered garlic bread (CK’s favorite), roast beef and jarlsberg on rye with stone ground mustard, and goat cheese with red bell pepper on wheat beer bread. My plan was to make a cream cheese and lox too, but the goddamn grocery store was out. Effing bastards.

Andouille stuffed mushrooms. Spinach, bell pepper, onion, bread crumbs etc. Topped with swiss. The andouille came from the Swinery. Crazy delicious.

I also made andouille stuffed mushrooms and roasted golden nugget squash dip. The final request from the birthday boy was for Lil Nasties. Bear with me here, I promise you’ll like where I’m going. Present at every family Christmas party, these things look awful but they are oddly delicious. I think of them as white trash sushi, sans aquatic creatures. Pickles, wrapped in cream cheese and ham, sliced up like a sushi roll (first picture, upper left). They always shock and confuse, then disappear before you can fully explain what they are.

So I spent a couple hours working on all this, and forgot to eat lunch. When people started arriving I thought it would be a good idea to get a bit of a buzz going right away to help with the mingling, cuz I'm a bit shy. I drank a full bottle of wine by myself in about 20 minutes. Then the shots of Aquavit and whiskey. Then cheap beer. I am a very stupid person. Though I don’t recall much aside from the nausea, apparently the food was pretty good.